x
haileybut
I hate being the extra-wheel.  Everyone tonight had someone to hold; someone to hold them.
For me, it was a constant reminder that I am alone.
I'm starting to get frustrated because I can't manage to find the right words to say to express how I'm feeling right now.........how do I put all of my feelings and emotions into words?
I am tired of being alone.  I am lonely.  I want companionship.
But when I say all this, I find myself in a bind.  It's not that I'm a loner.  Actually, I do have friends.  Many of them, whom I value and care deeply about, but what I'm seeking is something that reaches out beyond friendship.
Do you understand what I'm trying to say?  I feel like I'm stuck trying to express myself.
I want something greater than friendship.  I yearn for that intimate connection between two people--a connection that isn't necessarily physical, but a way to share your entire being.  Complete understanding and trust.
Something so intimate that it's treasured.
I really don't know if I'm making any sense here.  It's hard to be eloquent when you don't even know what you're trying to get at in the first place.
Unfortunately, I know this is never going to happen because I can't function enough socially to start a relationship.  I just feel that nobody wants me in that way.  Sure, I make a good friend, but nobody really wants me in a relationship.  What's wrong with me?  Why am I so relationship-retarded?
Why can 't I figure out what's wrong with me?  I'm so frustrated right now..............
I can't put my thoughts into words.  I'm alone.

Wtf is wrong with me......
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